I distinctly remember it. The first day I went to Sociology, I knew it would challenge my beliefs. With that, I had warning from Institute teachers - how worldly teachings contradict the Gospel. I was anxious, when I walked into class. I was sure, in the first few weeks, I was going to Hell for even listening to the lectures. In hindsight, it was a terrific over-analyzation and a very over-dramatic thought.
It took a couple of years to balance the two. I think I'm still working on it, a bit. It was difficult to listen to the concepts presented in Sociology, Philosophy, and in aspects of Anthropology - hearing justifications for not living life and making decisions in ways separate to the straight and narrow path. A real struggle, especially when I come from being a "Molly Mormon" for years. Do I claim that label? No. Not anymore.
When I do go to church, I try to sit quietly and focus on the message being conveyed and the purpose therein. Most time's I am able to be patient and receptive. Other times, I am not so keen on how I feel about the way the message comes out. Do I own, in part, my own critical ways? I sure do. Am I concerned for some of the common thoughts and themes prevailing amongst the majority? Yes. Can I do anything large about it? No.
As a preface, these are my personal opinions, notions and conjectures. These are usually socio-cultural thoughts. There is no intent to claim otherwise.
To reiterate, change, curtailment, agency and examples with charity (among others) were the topics of the day.
Change. It was favorite message, The only thing constant about life is change. Good gravy, yes! This concept truly validates the human experience and provides a sense of comfort to the chaos of reality. Understanding change, knowing it's ok and not worth being frightened of, being able to accept change as it comes and react as necessary. Relief.
Curtailment, this is a hard one. This refers to the symbolism of the gardener pruning his plants, trees and bushes. I understand the need to face challenges in order to grow. We all learn that way - usually the hard way. That said, I have a hard time believing that the Lord would purposely inflict some of the most horrific circumstances upon people. I know there are consequences, both pleasant and unpleasant, for our actions. I know, again, we learn from our experiences. I look at some of the best people I've ever known and the struggles they face. Why? Even then, as faithful as some may be, they find no relief. Why?
---Tangential Vent Warning---
Let's look at the struggles of those who have disabilities and care for people with disabilities. Do not tell a person with disabilities (or any other challenge) that it's a blessing in disguise. Do not say these people inspire you. Don't exclaim they are such an example. Never say they are amazing for being able to do... whatever it is. All of these phrases, while seemingly complimentary are, among other things, passive pity. Expressing your astonishment at their circumstance then justifying your own discomfort of the encounter by saying it's His will. No. Just. No. Serve others. Don't pity others.
---End Tangential Vent---
Agency follows nicely. I understand how agency works. Choice and accountability. I get it. What I don't understand is the social expectation to berate oneself when they've made a "bad" decision. It's the idea that one can't possibly move on from it unless they're miserable. I understand the teaching of the need for a broken heart and contrite spirit - but misery and self-deprivation. No. I thought it was Satan who wants us to be miserable - wanting to deter us from even any attempt at happiness. Berating ourself is the social norm though. Instead, recognize the wrong-doing, own your feelings, acknowledge and apologize and move on. Dwelling in self-pity will not allow progress, only decline. Being an example is one of the main concepts in keeping me going. I've held onto the light within for as long as I can remember. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Everybody watches each other, the more time we spend with different types of groups and companies will influence how we act and what we do. Period. It's human nature. So, we can be an example for good, bad or, among other things, apathy.
Being an example has always been a significant part of my choices. I aim to serve others and be strong for others. I want people to know that they can accept themselves and find strength within. I do my best, one person and one post at a time to be sure that people are not ignorant to social inequalities - not for my own benefit, but for others who deal with various types of social stigmatization and/or oppression. I try to be selfless.
There are two things I've recently noted, recently, regarding the "example" concepts toward happiness and charity. It's been said to try to always be happy. Even when things are hard, always be happy. The notion of, even when the house is on fire, you smile. Yes, an exaggeration. However, there are people out there who paint a grin on their face no matter how horrible things are. Sometimes, I am indeed one of them. I just want to say, it's ok to not be happy. It's ok to say "life sucks!" It's ok to be upset or whatever feeling it is that you have. Painting a smile on your face doesn't make things better, this doesn't acknowledge the problem, this doesn't let you process your feelings. Can you choose positivity? Of course! Can you aim to find the light within the dark? Sure thing. Just don't force the face.
Ok. Ok. I know the above are all sensitive subjects. This one is especially sensitive. Charity. Charity is the pure love of Christ. What I'll stress here is the social meaning the word, "charity," carries. I hope people will focus on service, support and assistance and not helping or pitying. Syntax, tone and intent are everything. We need not patronize our peers. It doesn't do anyone any good. So, please, when you aim to be an example through charity, do so with compassion, not pity.
So concludes tonights thoughts. There are more simmering on the back burner. I'll check back on it a bit later.
Thank you for reading!
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